Ever feel that little twinge of guilt after buying something for yourself? Like, why do we always feel like we need to justify spending our hard-earned cash on the things that make us happy?
It’s almost like we’ve been trained to think that treating ourselves is some kind of luxury reserved only for special occasions, or if we’ve worked extra hard.
The thing is, it’s normal to want to treat yourself. We’ve all been adulting—working hard, juggling responsibilities, trying to make it all work. And guess what? You’ve earned that little splurge.
For some reason, we’re always told that spending on ourselves is selfish or irresponsible. But when we’re running on empty, a little something just for you can actually be a game-changer. It’s about striking a balance between saving for the future and living now.
The guilt? It’s unnecessary. Let’s talk about why and how to shake it off, because you deserve to spend on yourself without the side of shame.
Why do we feel guilty?
We’ve all experienced the feeling of guilt after treating ourselves to something nice. Perhaps from buying a new gadget, a relaxing spa day, or simply enjoying a night out, the guilt can be overwhelming.
But what’s at the root of this guilt? Why do we struggle so much when it comes to spending on ourselves? Let’s break it down.
Cultural pressure to put others first
In Filipino culture, there’s this ingrained value of prioritizing others, especially family. We’re raised to look out for our parents, siblings, and relatives, often before we look out for ourselves. When it comes to spending on ourselves, we feel selfish. What if we reframe that?
Fear of judgment
There’s always the worry of what others will think—“Baka isipin nila mayabang ako” or “Is this too much?” These thoughts hold us back from enjoying things that could genuinely make us happy, even though we work hard for it.
The need to be practical
We’re taught to be practical with our money. Budgeting, saving, and thinking about the future are drilled into us, and they should be. But sometimes, this practicality makes us feel like spending on ourselves is an unnecessary luxury. But is it really?
Guilt over ‘unnecessary’ purchases
The big one: we’re taught that unless something is a need—like food or bills—it’s “frivolous.” But what if it’s not? Sometimes, that little splurge is exactly what we need to keep us going. Not everything we buy has to have a grand purpose. Sometimes, it’s the small things that add up to the most joy.
5 Ways to Stop Feeling Guilty for Spending on Yourself
Now that we’ve laid the groundwork, let’s dive into actionable ways to shed the guilt and start making peace with spending on yourself because, honestly, you deserve it.
1. Shift your mindset: Self-care isn’t selfish
If you’ve been raised to put others first, it’s hard to shake the feeling that treating yourself is selfish. But the truth is self-care isn’t selfish. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you fully take care of others? It’s a balancing act. Spending on yourself isn’t merely an indulgence, it’s a necessity for maintaining emotional and mental health. It’s about investing in yourself so that you can show up better for others.
Next time you feel guilty, remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Giving to others starts with giving to yourself first.
2. Set a budget for yourself
One major reason we feel guilty is because we don’t have a clear idea of what we can afford. If you’ve been raised with the need to be “practical,” setting aside money for yourself can feel like you’re not being responsible. To change that, set a budget specifically for treating yourself. Knowing you’ve already allocated a certain amount for personal indulgence makes spending guilt-free.
Create a “self-care” budget within your overall financial plan, something simple like 5-10% of your income. When you’ve already set that money aside, treating yourself doesn’t feel like you’re overspending but rather, it feels like a well-earned reward.
3. Embrace experiences over material goods
Often, our guilt comes from buying things, say from a new dress, gadget, or piece of decor. But what if we changed our focus to experiences instead of material items? Experiences like a weekend getaway, trying out a cooking class, or indulging in a wellness retreat leave us feeling fulfilled in ways objects can’t. Plus, experiences don’t come with the same guilt.
Before making a material purchase, ask yourself: “Will this bring me lasting joy, or will the experience of doing something special for myself create a more memorable impact?” Experiences often create lasting happiness without the guilt.
4. Start small and build confidence
If you’ve been conditioned to save and be practical, the idea of spending on yourself can feel overwhelming. Here’s where small victories matter. Some example of small things you can do:
- Treat yourself to a coffee you love
- Try a new skincare product
- Enjoy a meal out
- Buy a new book or journal
It’s all about proving to yourself that spending on yourself is not only okay, but necessary for your well-being.
You can make it a weekly or regular ritual to treat yourself when you achieve even small wins. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to enjoy the bigger indulgences without guilt.
5. Work smart, not hard
The hustle culture often tells us we have to work harder to “earn” nice things. But this is the shift we need: It’s not about working harder, it’s about working smarter. Setting boundaries, creating space for self-care, and budgeting for indulgence means you don’t have to overwork yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You deserve the peace and happiness that comes with a balanced life.
At the end of the day, you deserve to feel good. You deserve to enjoy life’s little luxuries and to treat yourself without guilt. The key to ending this guilt cycle is recognizing that spending on yourself is not an extravagance, but an investment in your emotional and mental health.
It’s not going to happen overnight, and yes, there will be slip-ups. But with practice, it gets easier. Start small, set boundaries, and remind yourself that you deserve this. It’s about taking care of you, so you can show up better for others.
Self-care is about creating a life where you feel good, from the inside out.
So go ahead, buy that drink, treat yourself to a massage, or take that solo trip. Don’t just justify it. Own it.
You’ve earned it.
