I’m some juan who’s tried keeping it all together and dropped the ball a few times, too.
People assume I’m always happy. Maybe it’s because I work in hospitality and smiling comes with the apron. Maybe it’s the sunburn I wear like a badge from another beach trip, or how my GoPro’s always ready for the next adventure.
But hey, being naturally bubbly doesn’t mean I don’t hit empty. And the kind of tired I get? Sometimes sleep doesn’t fix it.
What’s kept me afloat aren’t grand gestures or vision boards. It’s the small, consistent habits I didn’t even notice I was building, until one day I realized I wasn’t just surviving my shifts, I was genuinely happy.
Or at least happier than I used to be. So here they are, my unfiltered daily habits that actually do the work of keeping my joy tank full, even on 10-hour shifts and when life gets messy.
1. I respect the little transitions
I used to roll straight from bed to bathroom to punching in, wondering why I always felt off.
Now? I give myself a buffer. I play a song I love while brushing my teeth, or scroll through beach destinations while I drink water (yes, just water). It’s not a full morning routine, but it helps me shift gears.
Even on off days, I check on my plants or open the windows first thing. It’s silly but symbolic, it tells my brain, “We’re up. We’re choosing to be in the day.”
2. I set boundaries like tips depend on it
This one took me a while to learn, but it’s a game-changer: I don’t take BS from anyone.
Not from coworkers who can’t pull their weight, not from guests who mistake service for servitude, and definitely not from people who only call when they need something.
I’ve started to speak up more, even if my voice shakes. I’ve said, “Hey, hindi ‘to okay,” even when it made the air thick. And honestly? The respect that comes after? Worth it.
Boundaries are part of happiness. I used to think being chill and dependable meant being agreeable all the time. Nope. Saying no is a muscle, and now I flex it with grace.
3. I make room for guilty pleasures (without guilt)
After a long shift, nothing heals me faster than a hot shower and a K-drama binge. Or a night where I order fries and ice cream and don’t talk to anyone except my cat (who’s actually not mine, just visits my window).
I’ve learned not to shame myself for needing easy joy. Because honestly, if a 45-minute rom-com or dancing around in a towel to early 2000s hits makes me smile, then that’s valid.
4. I take my breaks like a boss (even if it’s just 12 minutes)
Breaks are sacred. If I only get 15 minutes, I still step outside. I scroll through hidden cafe spots on IG or write something random in my Notes app. I breathe. I stop moving.
It doesn’t have to be a full-blown meditation. Just giving yourself permission to exist without performing for a bit, that’s already a reset. Sometimes I even sneak in a quick gratitude list, just three things. It’s simple but weirdly grounding.
5. I still like to look cute, even when i feel blah
It’s not about being vain. It’s about reclaiming the parts of me that feel like me.
Even on days I feel like a used mop, I’ll wear my hoop earrings or swipe on tinted lip balm. I’ll braid my hair or wear my favorite socks. It reminds me I’m still me, even if I feel like a mess.
I’ve noticed that when I treat myself with care, even in small ways, I’m less likely to spiral into that “nothing matters” mindset.
6. I stay in touch with my ‘hype group’
I’ve got a small group chat with friends from college and another one with my coworkers. They know when I’ve had a bad shift before I even say it. Just a meme, a voice note, or a “You good?” midweek can make all the difference.
As I grow older I realized I don’t really need a big circle. I just need a few people who gets my humor and won’t make me explain yourself.
7. I let my off days be soul days
I used to feel pressured to be productive on my days off. Grocery, errands, life admin, repeat.
But lately, I’ve been choosing one thing each week that feeds my spirit. A solo trip to the beach, even if it’s just for a few hours. A walk with my camera in a new neighborhood. Writing in my travel journal.
The rest of the day can be chaotic, but that one soul-nourishing thing makes the day count.
8. I take responsibility for my own happiness
Some nights, I do my skincare routine like I’m in a Vogue tutorial. Other nights, I cry while folding laundry. Both versions of me are allowed.
I used to think happiness came from outside, a great shift, someone texting back, good weather. But the more I’ve grown into myself, the more I realize: I have to take responsibility for my own joy. That means doing the tiny things that keep me steady, choosing softness without apology, and showing up for myself even when no one else is watching.
READ: The Sunny Sides of Getting Older (Really)
I don’t buy into the whole “strong independent woman never breaks” narrative. I’m strong because I let myself break sometimes. And softness is part of joy. So yes, I love beer pong and bonfires, but I also love chamomile tea and journaling my feelings like a teenage poet.
9. I talk to strangers (even the grumpy ones)
This might be my hospitality side showing, but I truly believe in the power of small kindness. I’ve had tips double just because I remembered someone’s name or gave genuine compliments. I’ve had guests turn from cranky to chatty just because I asked how their day was.
I don’t do it for the tips (though, let’s be honest, those help). I do it because connecting, even briefly, reminds me that the world’s not all bad. And when you put good energy out there, it usually finds its way back.
10. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out
Some days, I forget half of these habits. Some days, I skip meals or get into my feels way too deep. That’s life. I’ve stopped trying to be perfectly “balanced” all the time.
What makes me happy isn’t getting it right every single day. It’s knowing I have little lifelines that I can come back to. That I’ve learned to take care of myself in ways that don’t depend on anyone else. That I can say, “Today was hard,” and still believe tomorrow could be better.
I’ve come to believe, and I say this gently: happiness isn’t the goal. I know, that might sound strange coming from someone who just listed 10 things that help her stay happy. But hear me out.
Happiness, I’ve realized, is not something to chase. It’s not a subscription I can buy or a mindset I can download. It’s not the reward at the end of a productive life. It’s what spills over when my life is rich with connection, with meaning, with movement toward something that matters.
There might still be hard days but even then, I’m not feeling so empty. Because purpose gives me a direction. And that’s what really makes room for happiness to show up.
In essence, happiness isn’t some glowing state we get to unlock once and keep forever. It’s a quiet choice we make most days.
And that choice gets easier the more I honor the small things that make me feel like me.
If no one’s told you lately: it’s okay to not have it all figured out, too.
